oh, look what youve done to this rock n roll clown

that was something else.

i don't know how to live - honestly.

it's like i have this idea that living is this but then i do it and i can fuck it up so bad - and i get so confused and i feel so sorry for fucking up his life.

let's rewind:

i have been talking to bm right - and it's been all that it was - and better. lemme say i don't know how i ended up with him - because i'm such the wrong chick for that guy.

i was the wrong chick for tm too - and jdg too - and jlm too.

i just don't know how to be a good girlfriend - and i never knew. i treated dude so badly and i just pushed and took and pushed and took - and i am here crying my eyes out (still).

how did i do this before?

this is it - this is honesty - this is what happens when you finally feel it and not drink it away. this is me as exposed as it comes.

i doubt this post will stay more than a few hours.

i'm sorry for fucking up our "meeting."

you looked really good.