and she ran to him... then they started to fly

so yeah.

wanna know where my mind is tonight?

i'll tell ya.

jlm - the guy that i was with almost twenty years ago - is the only guy that never left me. it's true. i left him over and over and over again. he always just wanted me back - and when he was on the outside - he treated me like i think i deserve to be treated.

(note: this is being written in the same state of mind that i've been in for the past couple hours - hysterical)

anyway - i'm done with the long-distance-crushing, anon-crushing, secret-crushing, non-reciprocated crushing - it's over!

i need attention.

and i do want to creep my way underneath a dude right now - i'm tired of writing blogs about it and being miserable. cause let's face it - that's what is happening. i'm talking about not hooking up with the dude i wanna - and here's the kicker: i've been married. i'm not looking to get married today to justin - he's not catholic so we won't get married anyway (i bet he'll be happy to hear that) - but i want a date to see where the wild things are - and shit like that. on nights off - i want to snuggle.

i'm tired of knitting.

btw - here's my tushy from behind - and bird's eye. i don't know if i'll return them or not - but everyone needs a 'going out' outfit - even if i still only wanna go out with the far away, anonymous, oneway crush.

fuck.

edit post: i held on to this one.