the bad boys are gonna set you right

totally more than i bargained for - but today was pretty cool.

i went to straighten out my banking (talk about being ashamed of myself) - then i went to the foot doctor cause he was charging me way too much (straightened that out) - and then me and my mom went to walk the loop here in town - it's a 2.8 mile walk but we walked to her doctor's office so that pushes in a bit and on the last leg of the walk i got a tm -

"hey - it's sunny let's see the leaves for more than ten minutes" - i totally didn't mean to sound disappointed in our trip up the mountain but nick came back to bedford (again) and we took a decent ride and saw the leaves they were meant to be seen.

finally.

but lemme preface the other part of the story with a little background - when i was twelve i was a cit (counselor in training) at camp (basically it was a cool way to say i was at camp well past my prime - but anyway) - there was a "counselor" named jimmy bader who was hot as hell. he was seventeen.

and of course he was hot up and until he showed interest then i got scared - like really scared. the flirting (on my end) stopped, the love notes (on my end) stopped and then came our first sleepover night. it was on a wednesday and i couldn't have been more excited - except that morning i heard jimmy say "i sure am glad it's hump day" - or something like it.... and i just about wanted to die. so i decided to go but to steer clear of jimmy at the sleepover and i was eating with my "troop" and as soon as i got word that jimmy wanted to see me in the "weight room" and of course it was "hump day" - i got sick.

puking sick - and i mean all over sick.

my brother had to pick me up because the anxiety was too much - even at twelve.

fast forward to today - when nick picked me up and told me we were headed back on the mountain - i threw my purse (which is really too big) in the back seat and saw a tent. in the box. like he just bought it - all of a sudden my mind went to the set up in the weight room and humping - and the whole ride on the mountain i couldn't even really appreciate the view.

i still don't know if it was a hint - either subtle or in my face - but all i knew is the memory about that night at camp came rushing back.

now in 1987 i went back to camp the next day and let jimmy finger me but i'm not trying to go there with nick. so i am glad he told me the tent was for a friend of his - but isn't that always the case.

way to set me back months dude - i thought i could almost be ready.