i wanted something beautiful

so the flu is 70% gone.

my bones still hurt like crazy - for realz. but i gotta start living - and stuff.

but if that isn't a bottle of suicide i dunno what is. 650 mg of apap is too much!

so yeah - i voted. but more importantly i am scared for new jersey. i wonder how long till my dad is in virginia.

talk about agoraphobia - i was actually scared to go into one of my favorite meetings last night - but once inside a really good friend gave me a hug. that was so important because it's the first hug in about ten days without a gasmask. for realz.

then this is usually a mens meeting plus me. and you know me - men attention is what i do best. at least twenty dudes - and then lil' ol' me. look purposefully messy - but cute - but then HE did it again - my hp did what i couldn't do for myself and turned this meeting on its ass.

this dude started talking about the afterlife - and how he was talking to me telling me the things i'm going through today weren't important when the life after was waiting on me.

well - that's great and all but i'm alive today and well this was a recovery meeting.

so it looks like i am gonna start hitting either timberlake or maybe the women's meeting on tuesdays.

thanks hp.

ps for those of you keeping track vin is truly on the mend. today pedialyte tomorrow GOVERNOR!