i'm fixing to go to richmond and i gotta say it's been a decent day already.... i woke up early and since it didn't seem too cold i went for a walk/run and watched the sun come up through the clouds - made my bed which was mostly made (a+) - had a good morning with my mom, sponsor, self - i'm going to pay the foot doctor bill and then it's rva (movies with all four?)(dinner out!).these are the blessings my hp gives me everyday - to sit back and have four children that are growing up with a sober mom and getting back in their lives and moving to richmond to settle and get them more and more and more - that's the stuff that i can see and know that my hp carries me EVERYDAY.
i struggle with all that though - i think all the time that i should be this or that - or i wanna say things to certain people and really rip them new assholes and i don't.
i'm trying to do something different and that's part of it - and i'm thankful that my hp puts love in my heart in the place of hate and resentments today.
even if i do scam the library.
even if i do watch too much porn.
even if i do wanna bring my laptop on the trip today and 'listen' to wolverine while i'm driving.
even if i do get myself sideways, ontop, underneath, (even) upsidedown with my ex and am prolly too sore to ride the bus that entire time!
even if i say it's only 'f'ing emo style' instead of making love (gross!).
even if i think i gotta be skinnier - for my dad - because he really has a problem with overweight people and one-twenty-five is not skinny enough.
even if i want a porn subscription for christmas.
see - my hp - is cool with all that - cause it's me.
and i'm on a path of change but gahlee - it's not overnight.
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