now i'm back in the ring to take another swing

if i rate my want for a boyfriend at a number it would be about an eleven.

i have a really good vibrator. what? i'm 34 - and i am single. for valentine's day i got a hitachi magic wand (i actually got it around the sixth and i know this because i was totally splitsville with bm by <3's>

things it doesn't do: hold my hand, rub my back, wink, whisper in my ear (not even close), burn me a cd, tell me how much my kids rock, encourage me at school, know how i take my coffee, tell me if my tampon has leaked, remind me of things i need at the market, whistle at my rear, put its hand on my chair and grab my tush - again and again, rock out with me in the car, sing to me in bed, explain politics to me... i mean i can go on for a bit but it's making me depressed.

but today i know i can get a boyfriend and we can do all those things - but then what? if it's not that thing that i'm looking for it'll just be those things and then we'd have done them and then - poof - that big hole (void, whatever) is back and i'm back to watching porn while he's at work (no, i mean the whole time).

so - i'm just saying i want something. i think i'm trying for the whole - hey, i love you and i mean it but we don't have to have this tracking system on each other (yet) and we don't have to live together (yet) but let's just go out.... and see halloween 2 at nine.

sigh

ps if anyone reads this - i opened my comments up to anon - if you have a c e r e a l num ber for off i c e 2 0 0 7 - i'd heart you forever.