i knew right from the beginning that you would end up winning

i had a crazy couple of days.

i behaved in a way that i thought - why did i do that?

i don't like when boys (aka men) talk to me like i'm easy and i acted "as if" yesterday. then when i get phonecalls from dudes in the programs i ask - "why me?" - it's because i flirt (and let's be honest tease) when it's not the reaction i want back.

i had posted semi-about it yesterday and looking back at the morning i thought how can i fix this because it's not something i want to do daily - or really again. so i talked to someone about it - and because i really did try to fix it i erased the post.

but what i am embarrassed about is that the dude i wanna cuddle up to - doesn't even talk to me anymore. as a matter of fact - i can't find him anywhere.

i admit - i only looked on social networks - not exactly his cup of tea. but i thought if i could stalk him for a bit - and find out if it is even worth it i could save some time (& face)! but maybe that's my hp's way of saying to move on - i never could really move on. i really only have been in love three (maybe four) times.

i was lucky like that.

i worked at a new place today - it was alright. this weekend proved very stressful - and the only way to not break in those times for me (today) is the ocd turns on and i start counting everything. you name it. so the work place (with new co-workers) is a tough place to hide it - especially when your bosses has name eight letters in.

thank god she left early and i could set all the clocks to the same time - she had 31 clocks.

i wondered if she had a clock thing - i'll ask her in 21 days - when i work again!