if this post could show the keystrokes that i made - you'd puke.
i typed out about a million crazy thoughts and probably even a million more good ones. i want to tell on myself for so many things.
i wanna tell you how much i want this - and i wanted you to know yesterday - so by tomorrow we both know.
last night i had group therapy and then i went to a meeting. when i got home i watched - a lil bit o tennis and crashed. see when i had that dentist appointment wednesday (and i've been very honest with my healthcare people about my situation) - he gave me pain medicine. he said he knows i'm an addict but i'm not an idiot. and i'm glad i have it. not to abuse but gahlee - i was sore.
so since i got outta where i was i had my hernia fixed - my toes - my teeth - i had a cancer screening on my skin - and everything is going pretty fucking awesome. juggling four births in four years (and one month), a full-time drug habit - and the life style that went with it took its toll - but today i am doing all i can to remedy it.
after putting down all the junk i think i look like the old me too - one thing that really has helped besides all the exercise is the lack of sun. drinking and drugging made me look super ragged - but now i think time is on my side.
i have one-on-one couseling today - i have a written theory about one of my sons - it's seven pages long - and i want to share it with kirby (because i think it's pretty good) but she won't entertain me there.
do i sometimes think i'm a little like that dude in proof - NO! - but if i tell anybody about this paper i might.
i think i just did!
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