and if you gaze for long into the abyss

i have this really cute shirt (maybe picture post tomorrow) but it says 'magically delicious' - so given the perfect opportunity when someone read it outloud to me - i said - 'that's what he said.' it was pretty obvious i was flirting and needless to say i was.

i watched a bunch of tennis today - and i went to a picnic. i mean if i didn't have obsessive thoughts about numbers i think i'd just be anti-social. but so what.

i mean people are truly mean and i'll never find someone that really wants to indulge in my likes. i mean i think it's okay though - because i have tons of things i wanna read and knit.

i mean is it okay to not want new friends?

and what is so great about chitchat?

but what about the jeopardy thing - i keep wondering if i really am autistic?

fuck.

i am gonna see my shrink this week - maybe my medicine just needs tweeking. maybe i'm not autistic - can you self-diagnose that shit?

i usually don't go to mass on tuesdays but i think tomorrow i might. maybe i will hear something in church that i can't read on the internet.

and church is the only place i hear it these days.

pray for me.