then we told each other with no trace of fear

"my face is your personal slip-n-slide"

that's a quote from this funny james deen video that i saw on the internerd - gahlee - i am addicted to porn still.
one thing about being clean (jft) is that it's so easy to come when i watch porn - there's this sexandsubmission scene with pete and cherry ferretti that just blows my mind in the the third set up and that's all it takes it.
anyway - i was up really early this morning and i have a confession.

so me and tj were watching streamed porn and we *i* saw something that i thought was just an urban myth - a full on donkey punch. this chick was totally bonked on the back of the head just before the dude was about to finish in her booty - supposedly it makes her tooty get tighter! can you imagine - anyway - it's awkward to watch porn with someone you got with just once or twice .... i imagine it will be easier as this happens.

this is weird to write about but when you're my age - you really don't need the mr. right you did in your twenties - i had the husband, the kids and the house (the affair) - but now i wanna be with someone that makes me happy. that doesn't mean i want one-night-stands or nsa but i definitely need to know that we're having fun and game will be no more.

with that being said - we set aside a few days in august to hit up carolina beach and even a day fishing on cape fear.
THAT'S what i'm talking about - a dude that wants to go fishing and watch soccer and snuggle and scrabble - he's starting to like soccer but he forwarded me this quote about soccer/twilight -

"twilight is like soccer; they run around for 2 hrs, nobody scores, and a billion fans insist you just don't understand."

i think he sent that since i am a team jacob girl and i'm obviously watching wc.

for the months of july, august and september i am devoting two rosaries a day to the women in my life that have pushed me up and out into the world - giving me this foundation to trust that i'm going to be okay in richmond.

i'm going to be okay in richmond.

the rest of the day is gonna be spent seriously slacking off - i need a few hours to get some paperwork done - in all this responsibility i actually let my registration go.