let's make some music

ocd - go away.

so my kids are coming tomorrow - thank fucking god - i need to see them.  they were at the beach with their dad - their rich other family - and tomorrow i get lunch, dinner and baths at my house and wanna know what i just did (note:  it's 3:56 pm on FRIDAY) - i just made lunch.  i mean everything.  even the bacon crumble for the already prepared homemade macaroni and cheese - i wanted to run the dishwasher and thought the best way to fill up the dishwasher was to prepare the entire meal - except for the keilbasa the table is set - even the triple fudge chocolate cupcakes.

help me the table is set.

tj thought that this might be a good weekend to get tattooed and i told him maybe - but my mom would be here (note: only for an afternoon) - i just need a little break from boys (aka men.)  i can't but think that tj might be right - that this is how it feels and i would know that if i wasn't so set on being alone for the rest of my life.  so i looked at it like i might've before love took all life outta my soul and before i was a jealous girl - before i felt that men were nothing but descendants of jason - and i saw that this man reeeeeeeealllllllly loves me.  so i did whata i know to be right and ended it with tj.

he didn't know it was coming (this time) and protested but finally agreed to disagree (this time) and sat on his hands.  i didn't do it with hopes to hear from jlm or to ever hear from bm again (post coming - including drugs drugs and twitter) but anyway - tj and i are currently on the blink.  

don't know if there is a future....

for us... that is.  but a future is a happening so smells the cupcakes and fritters for tomorrow's brunch.

one reminder i have (of many many many) is the artichoke and caper tomato sauce we made before leaving for the beach - so tonight i'm gonna fill my belly with pasta, homemade sauce and tossed salad and try to think if any guy is worth this shit.

worth wondering - (btw who the fuck are you in north carolina???) - but tomorrow will be filled with wonder, with awe and with thanking jesus (sweet baby and black) for the opportunity to be the mom that i was and am and will be.  oh - and jericho is definitely talking better and for that only the god of my misunderstanding is responsible.  

fuck yeah.