so.the crape myrtle came yesterday - and my dad was like so who was going to plant it... i said my bf.
i don't even think i'm ready for a boyfriend so you know they don't.
regardless i told them i am leaning from serious but that doesn't help - then they just think i'm a slut.
fail.
but the truth of the matter is i do love tj - i mean it doesn't take much to admit that or even feel it - he's probably the most awesome giving dude that i have dated (or maybe he's just like the rest of you and he is awesome and giving but now i can see it cause i'm not as self-centered) - anyway - i don't want to put a limit on what we do or what happens i'm just saying that there's no expectations there - just living in the moment.
proof of that internet speed - i'm saying once my folks leave (saturday or tomorrow) i am planning on doing some serious streaming - but - that'll happen.
today i'm going to a new shrink - i think i may have one more little condition and it's kinda serious - so i am gonna see what someone professional thinks. self-diagnosis only works most of the time.
the biggest regret in all this is that bookshelf situation - when i told jdg the details he didn't get it - didn't understand that his meticulous details were a reminder that i wasn't there in any way. talking to tj about it i finally got to cry - and then i apologized for doing that to him and he said that he is here for me to get through that stuff.
i miss him - i wanna lay down and watch tv and get silly and laugh in the morning and all that.
i am afraid to admit i need that.
No comments:
Post a Comment