you made all.... you know what you did

for those of you not in the know - i don't think there are any - but jl was my second real love (jimmy preceding him).

when jimmy when to prison in 1992 - he asked me to stay faithful. i did for about one year (no more than) - and then he knew i was getting antsy and with seven years (no parole in the bop a very very serious incident gave him eight more years) (currently due up for parole in a western state in 2014) he gave me permission to go messing around but no falling love.

so i did and i found jl - i wasn't in love - i was in crazy.

i fell for this boy like no one in the world.

he loved me even though i left new jersey once a month to visit jlm wherever he was and he was okay with the fact that i was using while in school (he was my ta) and once he graduated and was moved to prague he brought me over to see him a few times.

but guess what - my using drove him away too.

i ruined the second love of my life time with drugs.

but that doesn't dismiss the fact that he is tied for number two in lovers. hell no - i was never a vanilla kinda girl - i lost my virginity in a threesome for god's sake but he showed me the colorful side of sex and i never looked back.

so since he came back - i thought i'd do a top ten (eleven kinda) - for every boy that made this list there are six point two that didn't (i thought if i typed it out like that it would seem less slutty!)

11. travis(burr)- last name withheld due to very strict anonymity - i did not fuck number eleven - we made out and dry humped on a few occasions - there's one major reason we didn't get naked together but if i could've - i would've tore this boy apart. an example of where not getting what i wanted probably led to my slutty behavior my whole life.

and the slutty behavior i will prolly always display.

10. tony(lastname withheld) - this was the dude i was messing with when i met jdg. he was the service manager of the car dealership where i bought my car - he got my name and addy off of my sale ticket and showed up that night. he was the best looking dude on this list - and he definitely gave me perks to owning a volkswagen. he used to talk to me during sex (later repeated by bm) but he would tell me he wanted to fuck other girls too - sometimes if we were together. sometimes if we weren't. he wanted to watch me get fucked my the whole service department - and i thought that was sexxxxxxy. he was the first person i ever took pictures with.

9. tyler bologh. hungarian hockey player my parents hosted. it was like a step-brother without the weird parts. but we slept next door to each other exactly three nights before i was in his room (my brother's old room) - we hung out for three weeks and we fucked like bunnies. he used fuck me in the shower while my parents we in the adjoining bedroom. my parents figured it out way too late - by then i was learning all sorts of things in hungarian.

8. bushy. bushy was the most fun lover i ever had. he gave it to me everyway - and even ways that i could never duplicate with another human being (prowrestler or not). he had sex just about everywhere too - and one time with one of his parents watching and not knowing. being young and stupid was a downfall sometimes but this time it was the perfect mix of scenesex, aggrosex and emosex. we used to play the choking game till i passed out everynight - once kensington kids took my picture. it ended in my driveway with spm in my bedroom.

7. benjamin. the night i lost my virginity. ben was the first boy i hooked up that night - he took me to the field behind the projects (!!!!) in perth amboy. i wasn't ready for sex yet - but i wore my best underpants i owned (this red/white gingham thong) and he pulled them over and laid it in me. my first orgasm from someone else - in all the times i got fingered and more - i never o'd with anybody... i came all over his cock and had to scream in delight (screaming in p.amboy is prolly not a good idea.)

i liked it so much i went to a hotel room with his friend and did it all again.

6. kes - yes, i used to mess with a graffiti kid. he was from lindon new jersey and he rocked this girl (at 20) like i was a ragdoll. the whole hand over my mouth thing became our thing and sooner or later he didn't let go in time - and i faded to black. like bushy it would be at climax and it would be better than any other time. it was helpful that my bff at the time was messing with kes' brother - it was sad when they broke up.

2. bm. he just gets the last two because he was the most recent - my love of porn is on the front page because of bm. he supported me and i sat home and watched porn all day. i blackberry messagered him still shots of things i wanted to do that night - and we did em. let's just say that from our first date, to waiting at the door (tmi) for him after work, to my own saliva pooling up - this relationship and sexytime might've been a number one contender if we could've gotten someone else to play.

2. jlg - name withheld. this man gave spoiling me new meaning. not only did he give me an a on a paper that didn't deserve it - but he made up for it by taking anal. that's right - at eighteen i wasn't quite ready to give up the booty and he sure made me glad i flunked the paper. he was the makeout king and i knew quite a few on this list that were on that court but this man made every single part of my body come alive with just kisses. and dry-humping. and lemme stop.

2. tm - named withheld. it was the perfect blend of talent, genes and passion. i loved this boy beyond words and years. it was sparked and the flame just grew and grew and grew. he tried to do the right thing and not fuck a married woman - but i begged and pleaded until he had to give in. we dove into the same door that i love to live in and he gave me one-hundred percent effort. if it stood still - even for a little bit - we were on it. being sneaky was sometimes hott but when we had time we fell hard. or at least i did.

2. jimmy matchette - he may have gone to jail six months after we met but those were the best six months of my life. he had what no other person on the list had - weight. he was not fat at 220 - not one ounce of fat. he was twenty to my seventeen and there was no other seventeen year old getting nailed like i was in the summer of ninety-two. if we all get better with age - i wonder if that's with practice because he'd be lacking in that department but on age alone he probably could take over number one if i ever see him again (fingers crossed).

1. dan (for) one. this was probably the best i'm ever going to be laid. years after we were done fucking - he used to send me tons of porn of him doing his wife - but he always referred back to the days where we messed around.

he had something that i never saw before and he used it like i've never had it before - whether it be messing around in the car or at his house or even with his friends - it was something that i am thankful for even today. and if you saw those scenester pictures - you've seen exactly what i'm talking about. sometimes i looky pictures of him - and want him to sign on. he had good genes and talent.

there are contenders that were best one-timers but that's a whole other list.