let fall the flowers from from your hair

wow.
i haven't put my shit on here since tuesday?
fuck.
i mean i hooked up with kentucky boy tj* - there were some awesome moments and then there were some fucking outrageous moments. i hope/wish/pray he comes back next week. not the weekend though - that's mother's day.

i squeezed work in there too - it was a third shift and i came home and couldn't sleep at all. so i washed up and decided i'd catch some rays. well - my mom woke me up some time later and i wasn't even a cute tan. so today when i laid out i covered my face with a tshirt.

tomorrow is going to prove to be a good day - i am going to the museum of the confederacy in rva with zrg. lemme say something - in the rooms we have a way of introducing ourselves sometimes where we say 'we are grateful alcoholics/addicts' and that's because the twelve steps give a blueprint to living - a guide to spiritual principles that i would've not found otherwise. a strive for a better me every single day -
which brings me back to zrg and this may be me making lemonade out of lemons but fuck - and i know his life is going to be hard (maybe) (but with a 164 iq so far) but i wouldn't change one part of him and if he is who is he because of asd then blessed be.
i have the pleasure of knowing the most intense, cute, funny, original child that the earth has given birth to - and if you believe in anything but our feet on earth then you might be able to grasp that his little soul picked me to be his mother.
and it may be because he knew i could handle it and i could write about him like it was what i was born to do (rinse/repeat).

speaking of rinsing and repeating i have been using teeth whitening toothpaste and rinse - and it says to use twice a day - and you see results in fourteen days. so i was wondering was if you did it twenty-eight times in one day would it make a difference? i mean why not right? well - i didn't do it but i kinda want to. my family doesn't have intense white teeth - but trying to get them whiter can't be a bad thing.
i don't smoke and semi-recently i have been drinking water with every cup of coffee. so i hope it can just get better - after my next paycheck i'll buy the strips and when second quarter dividends post (july 1) i might do the britesmile thing. i prolly will i mean.

i watched iron man 2 - and let's just say i fell asleep. it wasn't my favorite movie to stream recently - all i'm really waiting for is the new nightmare - then i'll be happy.
or happier.