a young man breaks away

ok.
i'm fixing to get ready to go to rva - it's finally getting nice out again.
i have that old navy sweater vest thing on - it's long and light... it's cute. we're leaving a bit early because we both have haircuts in richmond at 3:45 - my mom is getting an aveda haircut. i hope they do a good job - she always stays pretty modern and it's always stacked in the back and whatnot but a head/hand massage and free blowout (can you believe they charge an extra twenty bucks for that here) will be icing on the cake.

last night was a friend's celebration so we went to a meeting in lynchburg - na in bigger cities is sometimes pretty brutal but this meeting was exactly what i needed. the sharing was where i am in my program and it just made sense to me. i think that's where you'll find me tuesday nights from now on.
not to mention that i felt pretty comfortable with the friends i went with - two chicks i never normally hang out with and we had fun going and coming.
you never know you need stuff like that until after.

but one thing happened and this isn't to dis my non-recovery/addict friends but when i tell a guy in the rooms that my kids live with their dad he pretty much understands and i don't have to feel like i dropped a bomb on his ass and awkward comments are next.
they get it.
last night i met a few people and what i was doing today came up - when i said i was going to richmond to see my kids it was just like - 'awesome' - because only by the grace of god (my hp) am i allowed back in their life and only by staying clean (& my hp) am i allowed to see them this often. i know i say (write!) it often but my paperwork still says i can see them two days per month - and if you scroll up you'll see i see them just about two days per week.
and that's only because jdg can see that me staying clean and me doing what i have to do to get better is not only making my kids feel stable but him too.
and unless you have been down the road of addiction and you know where it took me (and others) you can't imagine how losing everything is/was the best thing that ever could've happened to me.
and that's not me making lemonade or whatever.