it's too early to be dancing.

i hate to say that i'm satisfied because i guess that means i stop trying - but - it's not like that. i'm just content with how things are - and i miss some stuff but right now i got enough.
and that as you know is perfectly awesome.

when i was using i was a topper - i had more than you, i was always going to be better than you and i had no real use for you.
then i got clean - and i was a bottom-er.
i had it worse than you, i did more illegal things than you, i did more and more and more - and i had to realize it's okay to be me.
just okay with the fact that i have had more than any girl should - more love - more passion - more kisses than a girl can ask for.

today i can honestly say that it's a life that was promised to a girl who was pretty sad for the better part and never expected or even saw it when it was here.
only now do i know how awesomely i was blessed.
end sap.

i went to goodwill after the na meeting and got this really cute hoodie for next winter or a crazy cold summer night - i don't think it's gonna get that cold though even at the beach.
i'm not saying i'm not going to bring it with me to claytor lake this weekend - but i pray/hope i don't need it. we had that week of ninety degree weather on spring break and it never got that warm again.
anyway they have a typical virginia state park beach at claytor lake and we'll probably tent camp because the spots with hookups are already reserved.
that's okay i kinda wanna fish, tan, swim, kill it at scrabble and maybe redeem myself in chess (although unlikely).

edit post: i forgot to say making out.