'cause i am giving up on making passes

morning.

i was talking to a friend last night - and i was thinking where's the sexy posting girl that once resided here and i just don't know.

today i'm going to richmond to see the kids and believe you me that's the time of my life but i am starting to get horny too.

but if morrissey and lenny kravitz can be celibate fucking a i can.

that's just the thing though i quit bm - i will NOT start this thing up with d no matter what - the verizon guy was too boring - i'm destined to be alone.

right now.

i don't want a guy and that's the best feeling in the world to have - it's new - but awesome. i did ask a friend to mail one of those jlm postcards but that came on the heels of the dream and maybe i'm just feeling semi-lonely too.

but i'm told that feelings aren't always real - that they are just feelings and if i had a feelings meter i would be all over the map on any given day. so - i'm not going to rush out and write jimmy today.

tomorrow well - stay tuned.

it's ash wednesday i am fasting. i am also thinking of something that would be a sacrifice to give up - porn.. i can't do it. i have two subscriptions right now and i don't wanna give it up anyway - i don't drink, drug or smoke... i could stop shopping.

but for six weeks?

i could say i'm gonna not get anything to wear - because truth be told i'm starting to get junk for when i move. but that would mean i would dependent on someone to buy me this shirt and these panties.

dear god help me.

OR - if i didn't give up shopping i could totally give up something like candy.

it would be hard but what an awesome reward on easter - with an easter basket to myself - full of candy that i love.

OR - i could totally do both. yesterday my mom got me a pair of birkenstocks that i wanted - and looking at my spring/summer clothes you'd wanna puke. the only thing that would be terrible about this is if i ran into a winter sale and i was alone. i could probably call for help - alright so i worked it out - right here - right now.

no more candy or shopping until easter.

pray for me.