it's such a magical mysteria

it's calling pruning.

it's cutting back on the bad junk in your life so that there is room for posi to grow.

that's what happened with yet another friend from my old life.

i am not trying to be better than or anything like that - i just need room to not feel so enslaved to people. i think of it as self-preservation.

if i'm checking my email, looking at my phone or hoping for you to sign on - i gotta think of my motives and then decide what to do.

i got exactly where i am by my own decision making - so that's why today i run pretty much that big stuff past someone i trust - and hopefully hear what my hp wants me to.

easter was pretty awesome. i forgot the battery to my camera - but the easter egg hunt was a success. vin turned out to be the big winner - i was way surprised. and then we ate a bunch of candy, drew on the sidewalk (and house), zrg told me that no matter what we were getting married - brae still doesn't think it was a good idea (afterall i don't wear white dresses) and the twins were pottytraining.

saturday night i went to easter vigil - and sat with the host for a little while. giving time to jesus and trying to be better - for me - and it gave me some calm.

then i went to a friend's house to watch wv lose and then sleep and back out to church before rva.

i gotta say though church has taken it's toll this week - but i know if i don't have a part in the relationship (see way above) it won't work out. you gotta put into a friendship in order for it to work.

i don't see the wind - but i do see the leaves blowing around. my hp is ever reminding me he's present in our relationship - the miracles that work out daily and the gifts i receive is a direct result of my prayer and proof that he's there.

i may not see the wind - nor do i have a choice in where i'm going to be blown but to recognize the gifts and to enjoy it everyday - is enough for this chick.