we're both real sorry that it had to turn out this way

so the kids are staying the night - but around seven zrg called and he was having a hard-time being a big brother and i told jdg i'd come and get him and he could help me get ready for tonight.

so far we made breakfast sandwiches, i showered, we put a heavy duty blanket on top of the couch (what was i thinking buying a beige couch), went to seven/eleven for slurpees, picked up lunch,  made sundaes and now we're snuggling watching cars.

um - soon we'll go shopping if i can wake up and if zakkary's (still sweet) breath doesn't keep me knocked out till they get here.

he doesn't read this so i can write that i got him some nascar christmas wrap - i also got the kids markers and shit for now not christmas - and i got a toilet seat for when they might want to take a shit.  i was semi given a computer for them for christmas - a desktop (per request to santa from all of them) - it's a hp it's not super fast but tested (without cleaning and wiping it out completely) and it still got online fast enough for worldofcars.com - and some other things he does. so i need a nerd to wipe it out.

the wii plus the computer plus some other junk and it's going to be a lite christmas.

do not i repeat - do not link me to my own post when i'm going nuts in december because i feel inadequate with what i got everybody.  

this year is different - this is the year of change.

i say that too with what happened with a friend over the past few days - i met a guy that was particularly emo over a certain thing and i really didn't care one way or another but someone (not me) got sensitive over a particular something and next thing you know our encounters were cut to a halt.

or were they.

we'll see - things work out the way they are supposed to but sometimes they work out the way they are supposed to later on and then again sometimes they work out the way they should be in the future and right now they just suck. 

and then sometimes they work out like you shouldn't've ever fucked with it in the first place - and sometimes you gotta throw a few bucks away to get to the real peace and sometimes you gotta eat a little dirt to know what it tastes like and well - i just suggest that sometimes you just remember what things are for and not what we use them for.

whatever - i'm missing out on nap for this?

fuck me.