i could tell that you could tell that I was taking my time

so no wit.

my mom's gonna have an operation - (sh)it happens.

it's really weird to be the grown adult sober sane(ish) child of a woman who is really sick and the doctor talking to me.

doesn't he know? my mind and how i think and how i wanna try things in life and i wanna see stuff and go places and meet people and fall in love and break hearts and fall in love and have my heart broken and everything else.

and i pulled it off - i had clear eyes - and i looked cute again! :)

i tmd a bunch of girl friends on the way home from the hospital and the prayers are being said and did i mention - wow! - people care about me. see - when i'm clean i can maintain friendships and its totally give and take. i pay attention to what you need and you know when i need you.

that's how it works.

lighten it up, tara!

i feel like telling the world that i want a boyfriend. i made a promise to myself i wouldn't get involved with someone for a minute - and i don't like sex without promise - making out is good (remind me about my recent making out story). i don't want what i ever had - i know that. it's not like i want a replacement for somebody - i want that person that i never had - doing that thing no one ever did.

whew!

(i'm so predictable - can you tell i liked what i saw!?!)