your silver bones

so i was driving the kids home last night and i was asking bdg a question - and he was pulling a "quiet" - where he doesn't acknowledge me whatsoever.

and all of a sudden i heard a tiny shriek - and zrg saying authoritatively - "ANSWER HER" - instantly i focused on the "her" part.  i felt taken care of - feminine - i felt like zakkary was protecting me and it was awesome.  sure braeden took a little bit of a punch but i'm gonna say it was worth it (hee) because of how it made me feel.  that might've been the first time that zakkary stepped up and did what sons do (or what they're supposed to do) and protect their mom.

i had a pretty good weekend and only good things are on the rise - for some reason there's no school monday and that means a one-on-one with zrg since the other three have school.

these are some of my favorite weekends because me and z just veg out and get close - eat food and talk pretty much till we're both sleeping.

PERFECT!

the other things on the horizon aren't concrete but feel like if they don't happen i'll be completely deflated and let down.  but isn't that life.... i like more of a concrete future but if you wanna have flashes of perfect - sometimes you gotta throw yourself on the fire.

i say burn till you die.  because just the prospect of getting a few moments of happiness and willing the future to be - may actually work. 

and manipulating my life to fit my dreams may work too.  

and! years in the making may be happening before even i am ready for it.

BUT! i don't want to make it the biggest deal ever - because let's face it ... that's not cool - but trust me inside i'm being pulled apart by emotions!

YES! - i'm saying that love might return and it might be better than ever.

in semi-less exciting news. i'm waiting on this girl i work with to come over with a plumber.  i have a small leak under the kitchen sink - that one isn't even big enough to require a basin.  but the leak under the bathroom sink does.  it's not big either - but before it gets big i need them fixed.  so - that's what is going on and then after that i need to get some groceries and some other things at the supermarket. 

i have off tomorrow - and with a dad visit looming i wanna get a few things around here done.  

plus i am picking up a few hours on tuesdays (shit, i don't have off actually) - at night - just until this fucking weather breaks and my electric bill goes down.

sure it is - then i have four birthdays - then the summer and doing stuff outside (gardening) - so tuesdays might be my thing for a little while.