anyone whos ever had a heart wouldn't turn around and break it

DON'T ASK!

i betcha me and a bedazzler and these will be pretty sporty.

but seriously - i am in a bit of pain. but nothing nutso.

this morning a few friends picked me up for a meeting - and unbeknownst to them i really don't care if they see him - talk to him - or really him at all. but i entertained it for a few minutes - then i started to think about the badass belt i won i ebay last night.

this weekend i will be pretty much laid up and if i don't take care of my feets - then next weekend i can pretty much bet i won't be in those badass shoes i bought. SO. i am seriously taking it easy.

i got myself an invite to go camping with a friend for a week in august and i told him "i'd think about it" - i am not real keen on going away with anyone like that for the minute. my heart tells me to stay in bedford - the rest of me wants to get away.

we watched the second transformers and i can not even begin to tell you just how much i hated it. i guess it's not hard for anyone to imagine how that isn't my thing.

instead we played scrabble and i won.

we started off by trying to beat our own score but it lead to a fierce competition - my winning word (off a challenge) = cutup. i ruled.

but love is not a victory march

have you ever - for the pure sake that you didn't want to go into a period of "me" time with the stank of the last man you were with on your body.

you didn't want to think about that the last time you were loved on to be someone you truly don't want on your mind ever again - so you hook up with someone who knows that and is willing to help you erase that person from that said role.

no?

oh, me neither.

He who climbs upon the highest mountains laughs at all tragedies, real and imaginary.

dear you:

i have been thinking for sure. it's hard not to.

BUT.

i think that when i first met you i would think of you the exact same way today.

i really want the best for you. i pray that you're okay and i hope that you're better than that.

we had such fun together and since we aren't talking anymore - i think it's only logical that you know that even without an end - we certainly don't need one.

it's only a matter of time before we bump into each other (that's whata everyone tells me)- but i think i can hold off for a minute before i run into you.

even though we both would have to agree that we should've ended things back in august - 08 - the more we pushed it the worse it got.

maybe you learned what you needed - i hope i figure it out pretty soon.

love,

tara

tempting

today was another day where i got more done than i would've thought possible.

sarah called and i really miss her. it's funny that i could fall in love all over again - but with the friendship that only a girl could give.

her advice is bar none.

i hit a meeting in the am and pm. i am getting tired about hearing about him. i never really understood people's logic - so why start now.

i was talking to a friend online awhile ago - he was talking about how his life worked with his girl living far enough away that he cared but not close enough that it was too much.

i wonder how i go about that.