falling out with blue lou

i am doing HOMEWORK.

you herd!!! me.

i am as excited as you can get (lemme recap):

• i got out and mingled.
• i started school again
• i started to read at church
• i took a new commitment in the fellowship
• i am working with a new sponsor
• i might have a crush (mini-posi)
• i might be crushed on (mini-posi)

so the opportunity arose what's going to be my 'listening' movie and music. it has to be something that i know by heart and won't really pay attention. i remember pretty in pink and the breakfast club were two go-to's in the past - for the O-9 it's...................

true romance and theatre of pain.

and life imitating art or vice versa -- i am haunted and "just when things went right - doesn't mean they were always wrong" - i'm saying i can't get somethings (?) outta my head but i'm trying. and i'm gonna stop beating myself up over stuff that is in the past. whether it be something with j - b or even jlm or tm - i am done.

done.

done.

donzo.

...i've got my back against the record machine

i'll be appearing at my church every wednesday (for three weeks and then every other wednesday) as a liturgy reader. And fuck me sideways - I fucked up already. Practicing for the 'church lady' I said from a letter to the theologians instead of letter to the thessalonians. so i'm pretty sure that isn't what got me the job. regardless - i wasn't told about my tattoos, nor anything else. AND the church lady knew I was coming from my meeting so that wasn't even held against me.

so besides church and school and maybe even a baby job everything is going smoothly.

don't get me wrong - fuck ups appear all over. like sunday night - but I DID NOT let that shit get to me. hell no. sure i was shook up for a minute but two really good friends told me exactly what i needed to hear and well - it's all gravy since.

as a matter of fact - i think the thing i'm waiting for is here - i just wanna seriously take my time. it's that good. i'm serious.