so.
it's been awhile - i guess it's just better to stay in the moment.
me and zrg went tubing down the james river yesterday - i couldn't have gotten more than a 1/4 a teaspoon of water on my new camera and the screen is completely fucked. that's gotta dry right? eventually? but the camera is taking pictures and i'm able to see them - there's just a big water stain in the screen (i'm talking about a really new expensive camera here).
don't be thinking i've taking "dead-dad money" and going crazy here - my dad kept his word and everything really did go to my mom. me and michael split two accounts - he got a new corvette, his new chick veneers, a bunch of junk, divorce/criminal lawyers and probably a lot of wine (note: no wacky tabacky - he totally quit. so what it's for court and stuff - that's major.)
me? i haven't spent a dime. i can't. i have plans for a little and consolidating the minivan and the civic for one car/kid car but i can't do even spend a few hundred bucks on a tattoo - one that is devoted to my dad - fuck, even one that isn't.
everytime i go to dial the number for the tattoo shop i'd go to - i hear my dad telling me that getting a tattoo would be the exact opposite of what he'd want me to do with the money.
i know this sounds stupid but i'm hoping he comes back and i can give it back to him.
so the younger three are out of preschool - and camp hasn't started yet - so they have a lot of time. i have been taking advantage of this and keeping kids from saturday am until wednesday - thursday afternoons and sometimes a one-on-one with zrg on friday nights.
which reminds me of my dad - getting this house was really to try and convince jdg to give me unsupervised visits - working up to sleepovers (if and only if my mom was here) to where i am today. he would've been so proud of me for a. not fucking this up and b. being honest and kind to jason - it's NOT flirting instead it's doing what people do and not keeping the past from making today so much better.
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